Harry Potter vs Religion

Okay, so some hundreds of years ago, some people made a book, with death, life, and stuff that could probably never happen. Supposedly, this book was inspired by a being called "God." Nobody knows the true author, I figure they used a Non De Plume.

There are some speculations that it was stories passed from generation to generation, of course getting more obscure with every telling. This is also a plausible explanation. But soon people started to believe that this was completely real. That all of it happened.

Growing up, I too was told it was real, but it always seemed so weird, and rather dramatic. I wouldn't want my dad sacrificing one of my brothers to some being that I never had seen or heard. And it became even more ridiculous when I was around 14. I was attempting to be a good little church goer, like they expected me to. I was with my cousin that day, and the people giving this lesson, proceed to say that Dinosaurs never existed. That was the biggest, "WHAT??!!" moment I had ever experienced at that age. At that point in life, I was intending to become a Paleontologist. About 2 years later, I was still pretending to believe all this bull shit. So I attended the class they had a school (dumb, I know). The so called teacher, told us how the holocaust was an accident, and if Hitler had been mormon, none of that would have happened. OMFG!!!!! I was so angry! I could not understand how anyone would ever think that! Then I learned that many people had performed "baptisms for the dead" on Hitler, so he could be a mormon in the "after life."

I quickly started to doubt this religion, and any religion for that matter. And "God" was soon becoming a figment of my imagination. I was okay with this, I wasn't so stressed about "doing the right thing" and going to church. I was happy when I gave up all religion.

So, let's assume the bible, the book of mormon, etc, are all just fictional stories.

Onto my next point.

I have always been an adamant Harry Potter reader. Starting at age 13, and still, at nearly 22, I enjoy the stories endlessly. Here is a boy, Harry Potter, that at the mere age of one, was marked by the dark lord, to be his equal. And it was prophesied that "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born as the seventh month dies... Born to those who thrice defied him... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal.. but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not.. and either must die and the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with power the vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies." (prophesied by Professor Trelawny) This boy grows up, living with his evil relatives, until age 11. Where is promptly invited to Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Over 7 books, he continues to fight Voldemort, until the 7th, where he is able to suceed in destroying him.

That's the basic story. Growing up, I always had a probably TOO active imagination. My cousins and I would pretend the ice cream man was Voldemort, and every time he would drive past their house, we would throw our selves on the ground and then run back inside the house, screaming "You know who is back! You know who is back!" (yeah, I know...) I was far more terrified of Voldemort, than I was of any "god" or any "satan."

As I continued through teenage years, reading these stories. I realized how Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore was full of advice. For example, when he looked into the Mirror of Erised, he saw only himself, holding a pair of socks. Because that was all he desired. He did not dwell on the past, and he did not rely on the future. I often would read quotes from Dumbledore (thanks to mugglenet.com), and I could almost always find one that I could read, and be able to use for personal advice through tough times.

Soon I came to realize that Dumbledore was a much more realistic being to me, than any "god" or "jesus" ever was. Yes, I understand he is a fictional character created by JK Rowling. I grew fond of many characters in the stories, and it was devastating when one would die.

Many religious groups despise the Harry Potter series, stating they are of the devil. *rolls eyes* psh.... I have joined a group called "The Harry Potter Alliance" and when I am able, I try to participate with their fights against Voldemedia (false media), fight for equality, and to just make the world a better place. There was also a group called St. Louis Area Wizards, and if I did not work during the meeting times, I would have attended while living in that area. But they were an active group, that went to the St. Louis Pride Festival, to support gay rights in honor of Albus Dumbledore.

So here are these groups that are taking these stories to help other people, they know that they are not historical documents, they just want to stop the world from becoming the next victim to a Voldemort being.

On the other side, there are SOOOO many religious groups. Yes, some of them do good things for the world. But a lot start wars, because they believe they are right, only causing more problems. They fight AGAINST equal rights. IE: the mormon religion supporting Prop. 8, and catholics excommunicating a mother for having her 9 year old daughter (who was RAPED by her STEP FATHER) get an abortion, "because she was too small to carry a baby" (she should be carrying a baby anyways!!!!), yet the step father, was NOT excommunicated.

So all I'm saying, is 2 different STORIES, causing such different reactions from people. One being, "The word of god" and one just coming from the mind of JK Rowling. In my opinion, JK Rowling has created a much better world to hold onto. And religion should be taken down a few hundred notches in the psycho department. If you want to be a good person, and do good things for others, after being inspired by a "bible" then cool, but don't chastise and hurt other people for not believing in your story book.

I choose to believe in no religion. But I will take Dumbledore and the story of the boy who lived into a context that wants me to stand against Voldemedia and fight for equal rights for everyone.

... ... ... =oD

Squee!!!! That is my rejoice of happiness!! Things are going GREAT! I am happy as can be! I'm legally a Montgomery again! I saw my Aunt Cathy today! ^_^ I hung out with a cousin for a bit. I'm going back to school in the fall! Things are just really turning around and it's a glorious feeling! And summer is almost here! My birthday is in a month and week!! *hint hint... hint hint* ;)


Anyways... I really don't have anything else to say! ^_^

cheerio!

YouTube Symphony/classical sax vent

Tomorrow is the Youtube Symphony concert. I attempted to audition, but after waiting 8+ hours for the video to upload to youtube, the deadline closed, and I was disqualified... I only procrastinated that long because I had decided 2 days before to divorce, and was freaking out about everything.

The problem with the idea of recording your audition instead of doing it in person, is you can try again and again and again! And if you're good enough, you can splice the video with another one, so that you can pick and chose which moments you want them to hear. I gave an honest try at the video that did upload. I practiced the music as much as I could. And i myself, recorded my video 6 times before saying, "okay.... that'll work" But my camera wasn't the greatest, I had it ghetto rigged to stay focused, and so the quality was barely so-so....

But the part that dissapointed me the most??? "We are open to transposition." I made sure before even looking at the music! They suggested that the alto sax part go with the french horn piece. So I said, "cool!" spent a week transposing the music and another transposing the 2nd piece as well. I by far was not the best alto saxophonist. I admit that. I was really hoping that this girl, who did an amazing job, would at least get a spot. But alas.... Not a single saxophone made it to the voting round!!!!!!

I am soooo tired of symphonies ignoring saxophones, just because they're a new instrument... Eugene Rousseau is an AMAZING classical saxophonist! But his pieces are solo pieces with the symphony as background. I just want to play WITH symphonies! I don't want to be the center of attention, I just want a part that is written for my instrument, in the correct range. (the french horn piece went out of range SEVERAL times, so I had to change the octave a few times. >_<)

Jazz is fun, I love playing it! But I also LOVE classical! I was so amazed when I realized Mussorgsky wrote the Old Castle from Pictures at an Exhibition with a sax solo! AND THAT WAS IN 1874!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! New symphony composers need to get on board!!!! arrrgghhh!!!

Okay, end of vent

No Title For This One

As happy as I am to be back home and away from the pain, I have yet to be rid of the loneliness that still sometimes plagues me. I'm no longer depressed, and no longer cry each night wondering why someone would treat me so badly. Yet, I still feel so distanced from the world, as if none of it is real, and that I am going to wake up, and still be under his control.

I very much loath the dating scene. You know, meet a guy that you know nothing about, go to a movie, maybe dinner. And maybe they're cute, or maybe just mediocre. But at the end of the evening, it's constant chaos, if you like him, you want him to like you, but if you don't like him, you want to run away quickly without hurting his feelings. Far more stress than I prefer to endure.

I seem to be one of those that falls for the guy that she already knows, and has known for a while... Which, feels so much safer. You know, the ones that you fear will never see you in that potential. But at the same time, I was married to a guy that I thought I knew. Turns out, I didn't know him at all... Half the time, he had just been lying to me. Making me feel dumb when I had trusted him.

I guess I thought that maybe when I moved home, things would kinda be as if he was just erased from existence. But sadly, that is not the case... I have no regret leaving him. And in fact am very happy to be free of it.

But I do yearn for the connection. But not in the sense that I will run out and date just anyone. I do not want a "rebound guy." I suppose I will wait and see what happens. Even if it sometimes drives me insane, and makes me almost act on a gut feeling, until I talk myself out of it. It just is so difficult to not tell someone how I feel, sometimes in fear that tomorrow they won't be there anymore, and I don't want to miss the opportunity to tell someone how wonderful they are before it's too late...

So, if I've told you how great you are recently, I truly mean every word. And I don't want to lose you from my life. But I desire for you to be happy always, even if that means I am just an image on a shelf in the back of your mind.

home home home!!!

Well, I am back in Southern Utah after a 5 day trip. I really could have done it in 2, but it was really good to take the time for myself after all of this "Fun."

I got to go to Oklahoma City and see the memorial there, it was really cool!!!! I also got to see one of my mum's friends, that I haven't seen since I was like..... 5??? So that was fun. :) I also got to stay the night and hang out with my little brother, and his girlfriend. I love them both to death. and it was a lot of fun :) I got to eat gluten free pizza! yay!!!! it was very tastey.

But overall, it's good to be back home. I've missed my family, and Missouri was not a good place to live.

There's a couple friends who are still moved away, but I understand, and hope to see them eventually :) But for now, messaging has been a really good way to stay in touch. ^_^

Vent

I never thought I could hate someone so much as I hate them right now...... Let me tell you, I am hating badly today... First off, yesterday, a friend says, "Let's go to the art museum tomorrow, I'll pay for gas!" So I say, "Alright, sounds good." Today they throw a bitch fit as to why they should have to pay for gas when they were invited on this outing, and they were not given time to consider it. So I got pretty upset, and ended up having to pay for gas. So this "friend" was a total *insert rude name here* about it all. And played the victim. I tried to ignore it, and snapped BAD a few times, because I could take it anymore. So it was a bit of a rough day, but i made it thru. Then I get home to the *insert even worse rude name here* of a soon to be ex husband, and I tell him that he owes me such and such, for the car payment. He throws a fit, because I put more miles on the car, than he did, so he should only have to pay a small portion of the payment. So I told him since I was moving mid month, I would only pay part of the house payment, and he will have to figure out a way for the rest. When he already owes me money for his stupid websites, that automatically deduct from my bank account. ARGH! And the only way I can get his name off the bank account is for HIM to call and have his name removed.... Even tho I am the holder, they don't care. And ofcourse, he is too lazy to do a thing about it!

I normally try not to hate a person, and when I do, I usually have very good personal reasons to... but he has pushed me so far, and the worst part, this is only slightly bit worse than how he treated me when we were trying to be married....

I want to be soooo rid of him! I want NOTHING to do with him.... He is mean and hurtful all the time, and then gets upset when I don't speak to him as if he is perfect...... I wish I hadn't been so naive....

well, that's the end of my vent. Partially because I am EXTREMELY tired! >_<

=o) :-D :-) XD >^..^<

To start off, I just looked over, and my kitty, Gigi, is curled up in a messy box of dvds and games. It is pretty adorable if I must say so! :) But anyways!!!

This last week has been pretty great! I've been really happy, can't exactly explain why, well, don't want to explain why, because sometimes I like to just be happy in my own little world, even if no one else understands. lol. But it's good! :) But on saturday my happyness got added to! At last year's anime con, I made a really awesome friend, Josh, and I got to spend the day with him at this year's con!! To explain Josh would take a while, but basically, he is very gay, and well, perverted. But a lot of fun to hang out with! So it was really great to see him :)

Unfortunately tho, I do not remember a whole lot that day... I just kinda didn't go to bed the night before... by the time I went to bed saturday night, I had been awake for 36 hours. So most of it is a giant blur. But a pretty awesome friend kept me company on the phone while I drove home. :)

I am still slaving away at packing everything, but it has become a pretty fun process. My kindred spirit, Sally, comes over and we play the "how nerdy is Jill really?" game! I won the round a couple weeks ago, when almost every single one of my books had a harry potter bookmark.... :D I think this week will be "how many band shirts can one person have?"

There is one downside to all this happyness, I wake up early and can't fall back asleep, and then I am antsy all day long, and can't sit still for the life of me! But I guess those could be considered good things too :)

How I really feel about it all.

As horrible as it may sound, I am actually relieved to be getting a divorce from Cary. It was so stressful to continue to love him with everything that was going on. From excessive spending, lying, being outright rude, laziness, and how he attracts messes. It was so hard to continue, and just say, "Well, it's okay." When it never should have been okay. No matter how much I tried, he didn't think that I was trying hard enough, so he shouldn't have to try at all. I admit, I probably could have been better, and I could have cleaned the kitty litter more often, and tried to be a little happier. But I did the best I could. When the bad began to outweigh the good by 10-1 I knew it wasn't a good marriage anymore.

It was the hardest thing, to say that I wanted a divorce, and it took a couple days for it to sink in, but then it was like this huge weight had been lifted off my chest, and I didn't have to worry anymore. I take care of myself, and he is still everything he was before. But now I don't have to be responsible for him.

And even after all the times that he has made me cry, look stupid, and made me wish he was gay, because it would have made ending the marriage a LOT easier. I'm still a hopeless romantic. I think about eventually finding someone who does treat me right. I don't understand it. Because so many people are bitter after this sort of thing. Yes, I'm bitter with Cary for not caring. But I look forward to the future and being able to have a silly crush on someone.

I know I'm making the right decision, moving back to utah and all. I just wish that it hadn't taken me so long to realize that the decision was inevitable.

Well, I guess that's it for my first blog of the return of Jill!